Complex trauma happens when we’re repeatedly exposed to overwhelming or distressing events, usually in early childhood or adolescence. When these experiences are too difficult to fully understand or process at the time, they become encoded deep into our subconscious mind and nervous system as a living memory. These living memories actively shape how we experience ourselves, others, and the world. They can distort our sense of identity, make it difficult to maintain relationships, and cause us to either become flooded by or disconnected from emotion. 

Because complex trauma involves repeatedly experiencing traumatic moments, our mind and nervous system might start to generalize the danger. This just means that we learn to treat anything that resembles our trauma history—mistakes, conflict, closeness, uncertainty—as a potential threat. This is why we might react to current conflicts or anxieties as if the past is still happening.

If a hundred different mistakes resulted in punishment, eventually every small mistake you make feels catastrophic. If everyone you trusted hurt you or ignored your pain, eventually every person feels untrustworthy. Feelings, other people, and the world itself may begin to feel like a threat. 

But we don’t have to stay stuck in this loop. In therapy, we will gently invite these living memories into the room so we can understand what was suffered, how it impacts you today, and what work needs to happen to move forward.